Episode 14: Q. How Many Idiots Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?
There are many steps to acquiring weapons, military know-how an low grade intelligence, and the first of these is being able to see. Now, surprise, surprise, it isn't common to find electric lighting in your average everyday sewer. This has a good reason behind it. Not many people live in sewers, and therefore, no one needs to see very much.
But sometimes, extraordinary circumstances need to be taken into account when designing something, otherwise disaster can result. The unimaginative bureaucrat in charge of sewers obviously didn't foresee that one day three people (and I use the phrase loosely), a Garden Gnome and a mode of transport would be trying to save the world from The Forces of Evil using a sewer for a base.
Well, this day had arrived, and the three 'people', the Garden Gnome and the mode of transport were trying to save the world from The Forces of Evil using a sewer for a base. And there was no goddamn electric lighting, and they couldn't see a thing.
So there was only one thing to do, and that was to install it. All went most successfully, mostly due to the fact that Discriminant Boy's immortality came with a Fifteen-Massive-Electric-Shocks-Damage-Free-Or-Your-Money-Back guarantee.
Then all went swimmingly for an extremely short amount of time, until inevitably a massive disaster struck. (Damn you Murphy, damn you!) The light bulb blew. It had only been through unconventionally good luck that it had been properly installed in the first place and that extreme good luck had been that the light bulb and socket had come joined.
Now, you'd think that our zero's powers would save the day as they have so many times before. (OK, three times max.) But no. Not only was Discriminant Boy doing assignments, he was also doing Independent Study. Thus, his powers had waned to the point where even a lemon tree was too much to manage, and he had to stick to making tea tree bushes and love potions.
The first idea they had was to call the 70-ft Woman back from Hollywood to help. Unfortunately she had shrunken to a sub-atomic mass some weeks ago, and the vexing question of her existence (or lack thereof) was exercising the best mind of physics. Their next idea was getting a ladder. Unfortunately no ladders were available to them, so Spike Boy had to carve some steps in the wall with his teeth.
For some utterly bizarre reason they chose The GrumbleBum to scale the wall and change the light bulb. The GrumbleBum began to climb. Slowly. "A ha, a ha, a ha, a ha, a ha...." After a while, everyone got inordinately sick of this and made it climb back down again. "A ha, a ha, a ha, a ha, a ha...."
Then Sensai Garden Gnome gave it a shot. But being below even the Garden Gnome height average, he failed miserably in his attempt to make it to the first step. Spike Boy tried to climb with his teeth. Hyperbolia couldn't climb - she was too worried about breaking a toe nail. Discriminant Boy was dancing around sprinkling fairy dust in the air, and they couldn't get his attention.
The damn light bulb just wouldn't change and so they moved their base to James Sheahan Catholic Cesspool.