Episode 18: Pizza Hut Regained.

Some weeks into Win Tin Tin's sole control of the known Universe, the dark forces of Orange were in full swing. The deep dark recesses of the nuns minds were, well, still dark, and still definitely recesses, but not quite so deep. They were, in fact, rising faster than the size of the known perfect numbers. A precise analysis of the rate of the rise determined that the Mathia would regain their minds at... oh dear. Oh dear. About... about... the end of this episode.

The MindScanner and MindMaker weren't exactly the products of a good technology.

In other news, the alliance between The Good Ones and The Wet Willie Glee Club was in the process of breaking down, without ever having accomplished, or attempted to accomplish, anything as an alliance anyway. This was part of the reason it was breaking down. The rulers of the world had destroyed their regime by themselves, anyway. Sensai Garden Gnome and Hyperbolia certainly weren't going to take on Win Tin Tin as a sole ruler. The Mathite alone is a fearsome creature.

The three chieftains together, mind you...

The alliance gnawed itself to death pretty quickly, and once again The Good Ones found themselves alone in James Sheahan Catholic Cesspool. They were unexpectedly joined by Parallel Line-us, who explained he'd spent most of his time since he was last seen in Prequel 3 buying a large assortment of bike helmets in Mudgee. He had also spent a not insignificant amount of time trying to get both of his halves through a door. Thus it took the entire time Discriminant Boy was tied up in a gutter for Parallel Line-us to work out he could pass through the door sideways.

This new addition to their number, obviously sent by fate to replace The 70-ft Woman (and it seemed likely that Parallel Line-us would be about as useful) was a Sign. They interpreted this Sign to mean that it was time to retake Pizza Hut, although those in the know consider it just as likely that the Sign meant it was time to crawl into a hole and stay there until The End of Time.

However, having taken this unlikely slant on the Sign, they set out to regain the gutter outside Pizza Hut. They decided that this time, considering the ill-fated Episode 15 attempt, it would be better to take The GrumbleBum and leave Sensai Garden Gnome behind, which they accordingly did.

The main result of this decision was that they could indeed have walked to Pizza Hut via Tokyo and arrived there at a similar time. A secondary result was that The Good Ones weren't actually compelled to think. Those in the know (see above) consider that this is an essential advantage in any battle of indifferent Good against incompetent Bad.

The gutter outside Pizza Hut was in a sad way, as were its inhabitants. The lemon tree and the Dessert Bar, which were the sole food supplies to the region, had both been destroyed in the passages of time. The inhabitants were suffering from this event. The Girl From Molong had been driven to gnaw her own fingers for food, and was down to two. This decline was accelerated by the fact that The Complex Father and Wet Willie were now also driven to The Girl From Molong's fingers, as she had an excess.

They were in the middle of their daily entertainment when The Good Ones arrived. Their daily entertainment was a rather desperate variation on Spike Boy's. They weren't carving the gutter. They were eating it. They continued in this even when they saw The Good Ones approach. Wet Willie's strength sufficed only to reach for a calculator. She collapsed in the process of turning it on.

Discriminant Boy's still rising powers (good luck in certain Maths exams coming up, Discriminant Boy) were this time employed effectively and immediately. The result of this rather singular application was that The Wet Willie Glee Club found themselves back in their Treehouse of Horrors two seconds later. If they had done any investigation they would have discovered that the fences guarding the gutter near Pizza Hut had been destroyed, and it was now the site of the the world's largest lemon and lime plantation. They didn't however. They were too busy swallowing the plentiful supply of soft cement they had been thoughtfully given. (And, in an unheralded example of Discriminant Boy's amazing character, The Complex Father had a new lemon outfit.)

They would be busy for some time.

In the mean time, Sensai Garden Gnome had arrived at Pizza Hut, mysteriously followed by the 70-ft Woman (precise height 9.62 mm) unharmed by another unfortunate sojourn in the quantum flux. Sensai Garden Gnome was flustered. His quasi-transcendental-multidimensional powers were informing him of... The Return of the Mathia.

In the short time before this event there was time to share the awful, and well-kept, secret with Discriminant Boy.

So they had to tell Discriminant Boy, that in the nearly eighteen full episodes since he first arrived, the sweet and annoying little nuns had been deceptive and annoying little harbours of festering unconquered evil.

Discriminant Boy had not the time to feel the horror and fear. He did, however, have time to feel a deep sense of betrayal, and occupied some precious time alternating between two extremes of emotion. One was manifested by screaming at Spike Boy, Sensai Garden Gnome, The 70-ft Woman, The GrumbleBum and poor Parallel Line-us (who hadn't been around for eighteen and a bit episodes anyway). The other extreme was reassuring Hyperbolia that her deceit, no doubt forced upon her innocent self by some awful contrivances, was entirely forgiven, and he would marry her anyway.

It was around the time Hyperbolia generously accepted his declaration of love and commitment with a heartfelt, meaningful kick in the guts that Ellipsia and Möbiusa smiled two small and very nasty smiles at each other before setting off in search of their valued Mutilator.