Episode 4: The Girl From Molong Discovers Discriminant Boy's Weakness (With Some Help From The Vampire).

As previously mentioned, Discriminant Boy, mathematical Super-Zero extraordinaire was somewhat content and fulfilled. His unfinished assignments built up, provided unlimited mathematical waste for his very own power supply. His unwilling love interest Hyperbolia still tormented an occasional thought, although, due to lack of man eating lions, he was yet to save her life. The GrumbleBum moved slowly but surely. His name sounded stupider every time it was said.

But one day it transpired that Spike Boy walked over to Discriminant Boy's gutter, and kicked him until he woke up. 'Er?' muttered our zero, ever the articulate.

'Da merd eeds per.' mumbled his kindred spirit.

'Huh?!?'

'The world needs help!'

'I thought you said The herd feeds antelopes, or maybe something about Hyperbolia.'

'Yes... ' Spike Boy edges away. Discriminant Boy doesn't notice, because people often do that when talking to him. 'Anyway, the world does need help, and Sensai Garden Gnome has struck an attractive pose with a watering can and refuses to move.'

Without having to repeat all the conversation word for word, thank God, I can safely report that Spike Boy convinced his superior(?) that a vampire and a local girl were invading from Molong and even at that moment drew close to the gutter outside Pizza Hut.

'Never fear!' cried Discriminant Boy, 'I will save you! I still owe three assignments!' Spike Boy sighed in relief and sat back to watch the fun, partly because he didn't have a source of powers, a mode of transport or a love interest, and therefore was just a zero.

Discriminant Boy met the Vampire and The Girl From Molong head on. For a minute he was winning, blasting the full force of several months of mathematical waste at the his enemies at once. But, just as it looked like Discriminant Boy had the victory, The Girl From Molong turned on a calculator in a last desperate attempt to save herself. She turned it on and punched the buttons, trying to find sine 58 degrees'. Even as she pressed the equals button, Discriminant Boy felt his powers vanquished and collapsed in defeat.

The Vampire smiled fiendishly and thirstily, and drawled 'So, Discriminant Wimp, we have found a weakness at last!' She strode over to him, bared her fangs. However, she gagged at the last minute. Perhaps it would be better to boil the blood before drinking it.

Just for fun, The Girl From Molong started on natural logarithms. 'No... ' moaned Discriminant Boy. 'Anything but that... Even the 4th root of 2... please... '

Just as it appeared Discriminant Boy was about to become an ordinary James Sheahan Catholic Cesspool student, handing in assignments punctually and neatly, Hyperbolia ran up.

'You're lucky I'm doing this,' she snapped at Discriminant Boy, 'But... here are four years of uncompleted assignments.'

Even then, Discriminant Boy only had the energy to crawl out of the malignant calculator field. By the time he did the enemies had their calculators off and were going for Hyperbolia's throat. Discriminant Boy, now powered by mathematical waste and jealousy made a desperate last minute attack and vanquished the Glee Clubbers.

Hyperbolia stalked off.